Wednesday, September 13, 2006

First Things First

I was alone when I felt the first touch on my right hand.

Last year, around July, 2006, I was minding my own business. Depressed, but that was my own business.

I was not really freaked out by that unseen touch as I was on medication for depression and I was not sure what was real and what was not. I was not in a great place. Trust me on that.

After that first contact, those little touches started happening all the time. I ignored those touches for a few days. Then things took a bit of a step up. Objects around me started moving. I was hearing voices and I was smelling things that were not there. Yeah, the voices were in my head. Calling my name. Whispering to me.

At this point I saw my doctor. My head doctor, as I called her. Told her exactly what was going on. Yes, she is a Psychiatrist. She expressed no concern with any of what I was going through. I was seriously questioning my sanity, and questioning the medications I was on. She told me none of the meds I was on caused these side effects. I had been on these for months, she said, and usually side effects happened in the first few weeks.

She asked me if the voices in my head were saying hurtful or negative things. They were not. She said okay. I thought that this was a bit strange but I trusted her knowledge and wisdom.

Over the next few days the paranormal experiences increased in frequency and intensity. I was seriously thinking I was nuts. I was not seeing ghosts or things at that point but they were around me, following me around and waking me up when I slept. Oh yeah I was sleeping about 20 hours a day.

Depressed sleep though.

My dreams started changing. I was going places I had never been to. Seeing things and talking with people and beings that were out of this world. I started encountering a young lady in those dreams.

Let's call her Jen. That is her name so it fits.

Long reddish blond hair, blue blue eyes. Pretty and young. And very sad. Sometimes angry. She would sit with me in my dreams and sometimes not talk at all. We held hands often. She would lean her head on my shoulder, and squeeze my hand.

Then the dream would change. I was no longer beside her but above her. She was absolutely terrified, not of me but of what was coming. I could not see what was coming though, it was dark all around us. I could feel that others were around us. Feel them. I would try hard to see them but then I would hear her scream!

That is when I would wake up from the dream. Every time. I would have this dream five, six times each day and night.

Even I got the message. I was also feeling like time was running out. I could feel anxiety around me. It wasn't in me, but around me. As if something or someone was there, fretting.

Yes, I did get a lot of goose bump moments back then.

At this point I went to see a psychic. A medium. I did not know where else to go. Where do you go when you got a haunting? So in I walked and met this lady. She does not want me to use her name so we shall not. Fair enough, lets call her MC. First thing MC says is ''Oh, you have a spirit with you''.

Ya right. I am a sceptic. Ya right.

Over the next hour this medium told me what was and what was going to be. She also told me what was not. I learned who the spirit was and what she wanted with me. I was amazed! MC asked me if I would be interested in getting in touch with this spirit. I listened and I accepted her invitation to allow her to help me.

The next day, MC came to my house and did a cleansing. Said there had been some negative energy around the place and that this was now gone. I still had this spirit though.

MC showed me how to meditate, and how to use Creative Visualization to contact spirits. She also introduced me to pendulums. How one could use this simple tool to communicate with spirits. She taught me how to do Automatic Writing too. She introduced the concept of Channelling to me.

Then MC told me that I was a Channeller. Oh I tried so hard to hang onto my scepticism. So hard.

I had no idea what lay in wait for me. She gave me a list of things to do. Lent me books and cd's and gave me her time and wisdom. For these reasons I am indebted to this woman. That she gave of herself so freely and so without judgement amazed me.

Humbled me.

Right at this point I received some bad news about my health. I had been having problems with my prostate gland and had gone for tests. It was quite enlarged and hence why I was having problems with all things plumbing. So the tests had come back and the results were indicating that the gland was cancerous. Possibly. It was about four times bigger than it should be.

Please note the fact that I was Depressed, suicidal thoughts were a daily thing. I was not afraid to die. At all. I welcomed the thought of death. When the doctor gave me this news, my first thought was ''finally''. That night I prepared for sleep.

I then had the same dream several times in a row. Appeared as though not even my possible death would stop this stuff.

I decided to ask God for help. Out of the Blue I decided this.

This was early on the morning of September 5th, 2006. I was lying in bed. I asked God for the gift of Channelling. Out loud, ''please, God''.

Within minutes, an entity was with me. In my head, talking to me, giving me reassurance, love, gentleness, kindness. The unconditional Love that I felt in that moment was beyond my experience at that time.

The idea of an Angel came to me then. A female Angel. Though Angels are neither he nor she our minds are not yet evolved enough to grasp them as they truly are. So my impression was decidedly female. Even as I struggled with this she was laughing.

I asked her her name and I heard, in my mind, "Pennance".

Truly, Angels have no names, just as they have no sex. They adopt these only so that we can perceive them. We have no complete concept of them as yet. Keep in mind that I had no clear image of this presence as of yet either. That would come in later days, upon further explorations. All I could sense was a powerful, glowing light in my mind.

I did wonder if I was losing my mind. Not for the first time. Not for the last time either. But I digress.

That early morning Pennance entered my body as a physician would. It was not an invasion, and I remained in complete control of all my faculties. I was being probed, examined, and healed.

Trust me, a man knows when his prostate gland is being 'handled'. That morning I was changed forever. I was Healed. Pennance showed me how to Heal through Reiki. She showed me the words, and the symbols.

I cannot go back to what I was. This was the beginning, really my beginning.

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